The Speaking Coach: The One Word All Liars Use! Stop Saying This Word, It's Making You Sound Weak!

Jefferson Fisher walks Steven Bartlett through his three-part framework for difficult conversations: say it with control, say it with confidence, and say it to connect. He explains how breath, pauses, and slowing down create calm and authority, and why winning an argument usually costs you the relationship. He covers handling disrespect, insults, and liars (silence as the key tool), how to set boundaries and say no without over-apologizing, and how to use an assertive voice. Drawing on courtroom experience, he shares how juries read body language and why imperfect, vulnerable arguments persuade more than claims of perfection.

• Fisher argues you should never try to win an argument: 'when you look to win an argument you will often lose the relationship.'
  00:40:51
• Best defense against an insult is silence plus a question of intent like 'did you mean for that to sound rude' rather than saying 'that hurt.'
  01:05:34
• Claims silence is 'the number one killer of liars' because they fill the gap and start fixing their own story.
  01:19:02
• 'Never' and 'always' are dead giveaways of lying; truth-tellers stay calm when asked to wait.
  01:23:41
• Demonstrates that admitting flaws ('my clients could have done better') persuades a jury more than claiming 100% perfection.
  01:34:36
• Calls 'I could have done better' a magic, disarming phrase that gets the other person to concede too.
  01:37:41
• Advises saying no by leading with the refusal then ending with gratitude, with no excuse needed.
  02:00:33

• Fisher has close to 12 million followers across his channels, unusual for an attorney.
  00:08:49
• He teaches a 'physiological sigh' conversational breath as the first move before responding in any disagreement.
  00:13:31
• The word 'just' makes you sound hesitant; dropping it makes a request more forward.
  00:27:37
• 'Insecurities are very loud, confidence is very quiet' — name-droppers and constant talkers are often least connected.
  00:29:38
• Over-apologizing slowly corrodes self-worth; replace 'so sorry' with words of gratitude like 'thank you for waiting.'
  00:34:22
• In a deposition, an angry 'mountain of a man' turned out to be a worried son who had just put his mother in a nursing home — 'the person you see is not the person you're talking to.'
  00:49:56
• Lincoln invited his rivals (Seward, Stanton) into his cabinet; they went from hating him to sobbing at his funeral.
  01:45:28
• Saying a clear 'no' stops invitations from living in your head 'rent free.'
  01:53:53
• DOAC found that guests using filler words like 'um' and 'like' draw the most irritated viewer comments.
  02:02:38
• Fisher was crushed at age eight by being called 'four eyes' — proof that simple words last decades.
  02:05:47

Books, products and media the guest or host genuinely endorsed here — with the buy link.

Affiliate link — we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.